Of my chest.

I just need to say this and this is the only place I know where.....

I am SO tired of people not behaving like a friend to me its not even funny. I'm totally ready to write people off because its not worth the aggravation. If you are my friend, act like it... don't beat around the bush, I'll respect you more for your honesty.



Getting married really shows you who your true friends are.
Done.

kitty in my bed

So, a lot has happened in the past few months. I graduated, I got a new car, and ...yea, tornadoes.
My heart breaks for those people who have family and loved ones who are just missing and can't be found.
I hate that people have had to go through such traumatic events, AND deal with the emotional effects as well. Its too much, or I should say so much.

Graduation was fine, but my party was better. I loved how many people came to celebrate with me. It meant so much to have so many people I love there with me. It really changed my emotions for the time being.

I got a new car-granted I'll be paying it off for the next 5 years, but it gets awesome gas mileage and is super cute. Still nameless though.

I need to learn patience, and not worry about what everyone else is doing. I need to learn they is they and me is me. Different people, different situations. Not the same.
Its just so hard to keep emotions and logic clearly defined when I react to something.

.

Pretty sure I've got a tinge of depression going on here.
I'm not made to go, go, go and that's all it ever seems like.

I go to work to school back to work back to school until 7:45pm or 9:15pm.
Its non stop, and I just feel like I don't enjoy much anymore.

There's an internal conflict between my roles I almost feel like I'm being ripped into
a million different pieces and the only thing that makes me rest is sleeping, and that I can never get enough of that either.

I'm work Meagan, school Meagan, girlfriend Meagan, Christian Meagan, and friend Meagan and it just never stops.
and I feel like all I do is apologize, I've abandoned friends and have become uber insatiable with the way things are going right now.
I'm mean and grumpy and when I realize I'm being this way I'm not happy with myself.
Which puts me down a self dislike path, where I'm counting every little flaw with myself.

I need school to be over now. I don't want to do this anymore.

The Evolution of Desire

FYI: if you ever want to read a book about sexual desires...

DONT. 

i thought human sexuality class was going to be something different..

the book Evolution of Desire really.. makes you not like being human and possibly not even enjoy the idea of having a partner or "mate", if you will. 

it's very cynical and makes you feel like the only reason we have "relations" is for the purpose of reproduction;

men ONLY have emotional investments into women because they HAVE to do it in order to get to the real goal.

sex. 

and the reason we have sex...

reproduction *cue the song from Grease II*

gotta have good genes for that, so they look for symmetry and women with a 7:10 hip ratio, (sarcasm coming up) which indicates reproductive value and fertility!

blargh, this is not what i needed. 

why can't we just talk about homosexuals? thats what i thought i was getting myself into. 

BUT since homosexuality typically does not result in reproduction-we wont be studying this. 

unless of course you are a man looking for casual sex. then by all means, have a go at homosexuality. 

man, this book... 

(at least i know the material, 

and if i am lost for words on the test

 just mention men want to ejaculate and get an A)

What are the risks for men having casual sex?
"Men risk contracting sexually transmitted diseases, acquiring a poor reputation as a womanizer, or suffering injury from a jealous husband" (Buss 91).  :)

goodnight all! 

an oblog.

i know that it is extremely late and that i should be asleep, but i'm still on boat time.

and when you are on boat time, you sleep when you are ready.
(i'm also, hesitant to sleep bc Jonathan is sick and if he needs me i want to be able to get to him)

you have no idea what kind of obstacles i have overcome on this journey to the southern region on the americas! i've said it before, and i think you don't believe me -but i have become a scaredy cat. 

fears of the boat malfunctioning, fears of the plane malfunctioning.

i am scared of the uncommon to me. 

this trip has forced me out of my comfort zone with a swift kick in the butt, and said "Go have fun!" 

and when a trip kicks you swiftly in the butt, you better do what it says.

with a dedicated and wonderful boyfriend to calm me when i get frazzled, i made it out alive!

some tips learned along the way:

1. be open and kind to those servicing you - they will take excellent care of you if you do.

2. God always provides people you need at that point in your life when you are scared to death

3. always trust australians, and 

4. never, ever, under any circumstance, trust a monkey -they will force themselves upon you and steal your diamond earrings for fun. 

on this journey, i've done some soul searching, and thinking. 

Eat, Pray, Love so far is an excellent book, and I can't wait to finish it. Elizabeth makes herself so vulnerable and opens up feelings that, i think, every girl has felt. and she does it in such a "i know i'm crazy-matter of fact" kind of way. 

i plan to subject myself to research soon. (don't worry) my own research. 

i plan on blogging for a year on the different methods of taming the untamable PMS symptoms. 

i've got more research/methods to uncover, and also figure out my own documentation methods but i think i need to do this...

for my own sake - and those i love around me. 

my fear is that i wont find anything that helps and that this will all be in vain to discover that women really are just crazy. 

i'm praying for optimism

i'm praying for a stable balance 

and i'm praying. 

It's about time.

going through a dry run of your photo results and coming across this...

you will "L O L"

at least i did at 1 in the morning. 

the more i look at it, the better it gets.

i'm sorry, i know i'm mean.

i feel like i feel the best i've felt in a long time, i'm not sure what is different or, even if anything is different..but i feel better.

maybe its school almost being over

maybe its the lack of caffeine intake

maybe its confidence coming from no where

maybe its the natural cactus fruit pills 

maybe i've learned to talk myself out of things. can it be?!?

i can't believe i will be done with college in the spring. 

i'm getting on a plane in a week to then get on a boat.

"Mommy do Zombies Go Poopie?

A friend of mine asked me this tonight, and i really got to thinking..
DO zombies poop?!
So i thought i would do some research, and i only had to type in "do zombies" and the 2nd
thing that automatically filled the search bar was "do zombies poop".
WOW, people had thought about this before...
and i discovered there's some real research to be done here.
a forum fella named Erik posted this little diddy, "The Zombie Survival Guide says that the food just collects in the stomach, since the digestive system doesn't function. There was a passage about one zombie being found with 150 pounds of human flesh in his digestive tract." (Erik, 1)


With that being said i guess that is the next book i read after i finish Pride and Prejudice and Zombies and  Eat Love Prey (just kidding i know its Pray; i just thought it'd be funny considering the topic)


Other theorists believe that zombies just fill up with food until they burst. 


My next layer of research is what do humans do when they die? 
Well, my friends, our body relaxes and it all comes out. Ever heard those embarrassing stories of people being found in their pee and feces? I promise this relates! 


So, my theory is FIRST! You must identify the zombie. The first is the "undead" or "reanimated" zombie in the majority of the beginning zombie movies. (Night of the Living Dead.. George Romero kinda stuff...)
Second, we've got the viral zombie which is 28 Days later and Quarantine related.


(Resident Evil can be considered both-but we wont go there.)


Anyway, the undead zombies in my opinion would NOT poop. There might be that initial "oh  i'm dead" poop but as far as a daily or (insert number of poops per day), i doubt there would be any of those. Their body cells are dead, they aren't breathing or processing anything. Honestly, i can't even for sure say they "eat". Plus, half of the time their intestines are hanging out so those clearly aren't working. 


Viral zombies def poop! They are humans that are alive that have become "crazed" as Michelle Rodriquez's character in Resident Evil puts it. They've got "the itch" for brainz, blood or they are just straight up hungry. They might not be responsive but they still have functioning body organs (at least to my knowledge, there are situations where the "virus" burns up their systems..but i'm not going there) Either way, i think viral zombies poop, they just don't realize it like sane people do. They probably are like babies and just go, i can't imagine them just hopping a squat on an abandon home's toilet to take the time to poop. 
No time for that, brainz!

This photo was taken from http://artheat.net/labels/ava.html

i'm sorry i've taken up so much of your time, hopefully this either made you realized you hadn't pooped today, or made you laugh. Either or is fine :)